The only dance club in Kukljica

I have returned to civilization from an epic Croatian journey. Kukljica, (Kook-lik-xa) a little fishing village on an island a half hour's sail from Zadar.

How can I say this? I have two points of view of the trip, Croatia is stunningly beautiful, the water is so clear, there are mountains, islands, sea life aplenty, and little lizards scurrying everywhere. What did I not like so much? The beaches are entirely concrete, there is no sand, only rock, the people are ugly, I know this sounds rude, but I have decided to be blunt today, there are Scorpions, not outside, but inside... in bedrooms.

The first few days I was very accommodating as to join the family on the beach, I'm not the biggest fan of lazing around at the beach all day, but from time to time I do enjoy it. I went in the water, (it was so freaking hot out) and when you dry in the sun, you can see how salty the water is. It's pretty cool, I could actually rub small rocks of salt off my body. After a few days, we met a family from Essen with two little girls as well. Two of the rudest most obnoxious little girls I have met to date I think, the parents were no exception. This is when I stopped going to the beach. I walked around the town and met some locals instead. One, Marko, actually took me on a little tour of the town and told me of island life. There are incredible old buildings, well I don't really know how to describe them, shells of buildings, I guess. Only the structure remains, inside are beautiful little gardens or are being used as storage areas. The streets were so tiny and maze-like, sometimes you'd turn the corner and be in someone's back yard, other times you'd discover another amazing building or tiny courtyard you would not have seen had you not just been curious or with a local.

The funniest part of my tour was the one dance club at the apartment complex we were staying at, the one and only club in the town as well. It was decorated as follows; semi strip club with mirrors on the walls and pole in the middle of a raised platform, semi communist drinking hole with very ordinary looking grey chairs and square tables, semi tiki lounge with wicker chairs, the kind you might see on a Hawaiian patio, and semi Ibiza what with the psychedelic rave lights flashing everywhere. Damn, if I were stoned, I would've sworn I had stepped into 2001: A Space Odyssey. The absolute best thing about this club was, it was totally deserted except of course Marko and I. The music was blasting at full volume and the lights at full tilt. The unenthusiastic staff were sitting in the corner smoking cigarettes and watching not Captain Kangaroo but an English Crime Drama. Best thing in Croatia by far.

The next week, yes, I was there for two weeks, I hung out a bit with Marko and his friends, which were so sweet, really cool people, and I stole away to Zadar on my own one day. Zadar is such an incredible little city. The streets are shiny with age I assume. Old crumbling buildings everywhere, archeological excavations all over the place too, Croatia has an incredible history of occupation and such, so there are Roman ruins, Basilic churches, and buildings with that communistic flare I have come to know so well traveling through Eastern Europe. Two double jointed thumbs up.

Other wonderful things: Stray Cats everywhere, nice ones. Figs drying in the sun, Olive trees, Fresh Rosemary and Lavender Plants on the streets, Sea Cucumbers, Kiwi Vines, Grape Vines, the strange tacky touristic things one can fill their suitcase with, I came this close to buying a seashell shrine to the Virgin Mary, I'm kind of kicking myself that I didn't, actually...